Crap shucks! I ought to become a trainer.
They probably earn big bucks from just talking big and laying claims to supreme knowledge of the world like a dog laying claims to a lamppost. At least from what I observed of the trainer in the CST course I attended today, that's what makes a trainer.
Big talk, shallow knowledge and plenty of farts (not literally) to cover his path. And my, his deflection skill is astoundingly pitiable. Seriously, I'm pretty sure my grandmother can do better than him teaching that course and we all attendees will ace it without even blinking. And my grandmother doesn't even play taichi or speak Chinese or English.
In today's program, he was supposed to impart to us the brief history of Singapore and places we can recommend to guests. There was an hour in-coach tour around the historical and shopping belt in downtown.
'First, to your left is Funan Centre. It sells electronic goods.
'Well, thank you very much. I can read from the facade the name of the building.
Passing by Marina Square, someone asked what the building in front of MS is is called.
'Umm...oh it's nothing much, just offices.
'It's One Raffles Link, dork.
Going past Chinatown, he informed us, 'To your left is Chinatown. We won't be going in. There's an Indian temple inside, so if any Indian guest ask where there's a temple. You can recommend them there. Where ever I come to Chinatown ah, I always think of the roasted duck rice.'
Yes, I'm not blind. I can see there's an Indian temple located inside Chinatown. But why leave out the name of such a prominent temple (It's Sri Marianman Temple by the way)? And shouldn't the presence of the Chinatown Heritage Centre worth a mention? And who gives a hoot if you think of duck rice or chicken rice whenever you come to Chinatown?
'To your right is Boat Quay. To your left, Clarke Quay. If guest wants night life, can recommend.'
Right, how about a little more details huh? Like what kind of night life? Is it just alcohol and no food outlets? Come on! Stop just scratching the surface. I'm sure most of us know what are those places called. But I'm just as sure not all of the attendees know what are worth mentioning about those places!
Good gosh. I almost kicked him through the bus's windshield for carrying a failed tour guide exam result sheet in place of a valid license.
The classroom part was no better. He was just about as engaging as a deadwood in Bukit Timah Hill. I almost killed myself from nodding onto the tabletop more than once. Sure, go blame the WDA provided and riddled-with-flaws presentation slides and content. Sure, it'll be puuurr-fect if you had prepared it instead, and you won't be umm-ing, ahh-ing, perhaps-ing and maybe-ing away, because most probably none of us will understand it anyway. Thank goodness I managed to slip away for a couple of hours with the important-meeting-must-attend-or-my-head-will-roll excuse.
Sadly, I've one more day with him tomorrow and I can't excuse myself anymore or else HR will ascertain my head will roll. Hmm, maybe I should call my grandmother in to take over the lesson instead.