Yes. Would someone be so kind as do just kill me, please? Fast.
Stab me. Hang me. Drown me. Shoot me. Strangle me. Whatever, just make it fast.
I could barely stand what had happened today.
First, we were doing a site walk through to make changes if needed and required. At a certain point, we need to know the capacity of a place so we asked Mr P to provide us with it.
'I was not told (favourite phrase number 1) this area has to be surveyed for an estimated capacity,' so he said. 'In this case ah (favourite phrase number 2), you guys should have told me earlier (which we did before the dinosaurs were even born).'
He continued, 'You mean you guys do Events and Attractions don't know how to estimate capacity one meh? I was from Attractions last time also what.'
All right! Way to go Mr P! No faster way to get all of us fumed up like a volcano, especially when that was supposed to be his job. Of course, none of us said anything. His manager, a nice chap, just took up the task and provided us with the estimated on the spot, within 10 minutes.
Second, during the walk through, we found out that another department was halfway through placing decorations where we were supposed to have queue lines. Wonderful! I'd never seen such marvellous communication before, especially when our plan was confirmed for at least 3 weeks ago and goodness know how long their plan to place decorations there had been.
Mind you, this is not only happening between these two departments. It's so prevalent I'm surprised this world-class resort island wannabe actually gets anything done.
Third, my manager asked me to do a Powerpoint presentation for her, providing me with some pictures to insert. In the evening, she came over to my seat, pulling a bench with her, wanting to see how the presentation runs.
That ended up being a more than 2 hours revision with her dictating by my side. She wasn't happy with the photos inserted, indicating she wanted happy pictures. Then she directed me to a file in the shared drive with more photos.
I smacked my forehead and pretended I was trying to slap a mosquito. I couldn't believe it. If there were more pictures and what she wanted was inside, she could have just told me earlier.
There she was, sitting by my side poking at my computer's LCD screen selecting pictures to see. Like as if poking at the pictures would make them look nicer. If that had been the case, I would have asked her to poke at my face long ago.
In addition to selecting the pictures like choosing for a fresh fish in the market, and leaving poke marks all over invariably, she also wanted me to create 'powerful, fast and exciting effects'. So for each picture inserted, I went through another round of buying fruits and fish at the market.
By the end of an hour plus, I was almost vomiting blood with the fury of a fire hydrant at full blast. My eyes couldn't stop themselves from tumbling into the sockets with every direction she gave and I was sighing like there's no tomorrow.
Yes, by now you should know she's a Powerpoint idiot. And you should also know she's either blind and deaf, or just couldn't take hints.
Finally, when my eyes got cramps from too much tumbling and I ran out of breathe to sigh, I told her off.
Well, actually I told her I needed to go off to the ferry terminal to do an important set up. I informed her there were other urgent things that needed my immediate attention as well, or my head will roll, since her presentation wouldn't be till Wednesday.
It took two consecutive attempts to drill these messages through her waxed filled ears and 5 minutes before her upstair circuits connected and let me off.
I was amazed I'd survived so long in this department, but I dread to think of the times ahead.
So, anyone so kind as to give me a few stabs or bullets? No? Damn, you guys are such sadists.
Guess I'll have to keep on nourishing my computer with my blood.
Monday, January 17, 2005
SIA Boy
Two days in a row over the past weekend, a couple of friends (from different cliques) had asked me why don't I join Singapore Airlines as an air steward. Prior to that, one colleague also suggested the same thing. And even earlier than that, various people had put that idea across to me.
Some of the reasons they gave among others were,
'You're tall enough.'
'You're still young. Go explore and experience.'
'Since you love travelling. This is just the job for you!'
'You'll look smart in the steward's uniform.'
Of all the reasons they gave, I never heard a peep about my looks. Thanks a lot guys. You sure gave me a lot of confidence. From tomorrow onwards, I shall wear stocking over my face to improve my looks.
Well, when so many people suggest I've the making of a high flyer over a period of time, I can't possibly ignore them right? In fact, the more I think about their comments, the more I believe there's a wide spread conspiracy to get rid of me.
This is what I interpret from their comments:
'You're tall enough.' - Let constant air travel weaken your bones. Grow shorter so when standing in a MRT or a bus, you'll smell my stinky armpit instead of me getting more than a whiff of yours.
'You're still young. Go explore and experience.' - So that I'll have one less competitor for the limited number of jobs here.
'Since you love travelling. This is just the job for you!' - Get away often so that you can't leech on me so frequently.
'You'll look smart in the steward's uniform.' - And stupid without it.
All right, maybe I'm thinking too much into this. Maybe they meant what they'd said and not what I'd interpreted. So far, I'd dismissed the notion of joining the airheads, though I'd left the door ajar.
I'm not despising the profession of a cabin crew. In fact, I've quite a few friends who are in this line of work and I'm envious they can get to travel so extensively. Sure, in a way, stewards and stewardesses are considered high-class waiters and waitresses. However, there's no denying the benefits, exposure and experience this occupation brings about.
Example will be like meeting some rich young and pretty heiress who'll fall in love with me, and we'll get hitch in a blink and me having the experience of laughing my way to the bank happily ever after.
So aside from wetting my pants whenever the plane lifts off, what's making me hesitate from applying as an air steward?
Well, in a way, I see it as buying time so that I can stop feeling my way and decide firmly on the path I wanted to take. Buying time is something I've reservations about, since at the end of it, I'll still have to decide, so why not sooner.
In addition, even though I like travelling and being an air steward allows me to travel extensively for close to free, it's not the kind of travel experience I'm seeking.
As for meeting a rich, young and pretty heiress so I can laugh my way to the bank happily ever after? Why make the effort when I've friends who're already stewardesses.
I've already made a pact with one of them. Once she get hitch to some prince or scion of a Fortune 500 company, she's supposed to introduce me to an equally rich, if not richer sister or relative (young, pretty and 100% female of course!). With someone doing the hard work for me, I can have it easy. Hope she's working hard at it now, if not I can lend her the other stocking.
Okay, I shall leave this issue as it is for now. My manager just messaged me and wants me back in the office early tomorrow to prepare some updates because she'd the wonderful wisdom to set up a meeting with God (BB's new nick) at 9 in the morning instead of later.