I attended a friend’s advance birthday celebration yesterday. When I say advance, I mean just 4 days in advance even though I would like to celebrate for her 4 years in advance so it’ll free up my calendar a day each year. The important thing is of course, I don’t have to fret over what present to buy for her for the next four year. Then again, I’d never fret over what to buy for her birthday each year. Not because I’m a good present purchaser or I know her inside out. Rather it’s because I’ve friends within each clique who’re good present purchasers. It’s such a waste if I don’t allow them to harness their unique talent. Without me, they’ll never have such great opportunities to develop themselves. So, yeah, the secret’s out. I’m more of a professional present shareholder than a professional present purchaser and I’m into ‘people development’. Hence don’t blame me if your present sucks. Go sue the present purchaser.
Before I go on any further, I would like to apologise for being late yesterday. You guys were nice enough not to ask for an explanation but I thought I would offer them here anyway. The truth was I screwed up the time yesterday. I knew we’re meeting at six. Somehow, my mind got to thinking I would only leave at, well you won’t believe it, six! It’s one of those mind-blur days you see, not to mention I was enthralled by the Indian film I was watching on TV (none of the usual running round coconut tree and MTV-ques scenes but funny nonetheless). So yeah, if I hadn’t received the call that jolted me back into reality time, I would probably be an hour late instead of 20 minutes. But hey, 99% of time I’m never late so take it as interest returned okay?
Anyway, yesterday’s celebration turnout was quite pathetic. Aside from the birthday girl, there’s only me and the professional present purchaser (from this point on called P3) I’d 'engaged' for this occasion. Yup. Just us threesome. Opps! I mean trio. This clarification is very important, as I don’t want any violent implications from the hunky boyfriend of hers. Come to think of it again, his eyes are so much like my handwriting (small and ugly, though I just mean the small part here) that if I just make this entry in smaller font size he probably won’t notice the mistake.
In any case, the birthday girl was quite upset that the turnout was so low that she looks glum like this. She was expecting a sell out crowd but it turned out the crowd sold out on her instead. To make matter worse, P3 informed her ‘the crowd’ sold her out to see a bunch of scrawny guys and hairy gals in tutus prancing around under the stars at Fort Canning The event is called Ballet Under The Stars, affectionately called BUTS (I suppose they drop a 'T' somewhere along the years). Can you imagine her anguish? That ‘the crowd’ would rather be exposed to the elements, get bitten by bugs and watch advanced primates with no more sense than to perform without a shelter? Shame on you guys (and gals)! If she starts wearing tutu to wherever she goes, it’ll be your fault! Then again, don’t take it too hard. She was actually very happy that she didn’t have to entertain so many people. In a way, you guys also escaped the dread of finding out what present P3 got for her in her presence.
Departing from his usual flair of choosing an appropriate present, P3 actually got her a big thermo flask. You know, those stainless steel kind shaped like a bullet. His rationale, she’ll need it when working in the office. Well, obviously he hates her. Who in the right mind would drink scalding hot water? And you don’t need a thermos to hold warm or cold water. He could have gotten her one of those cute little plastic water bottles that’s omnipresent in kindergartens instead. Those whereby a straw pops up whenever the cap’s opened. Preferably with dirty green floral design or Power Puff Girls. I’m pretty sure it fits her image quite well. Especially if she ties up her hair in two braids as well. Okay, give me a minute to shudder at that thought.
All right, back to the present. On hindsight, a thermo flask is indeed a great present for her. Aside from containing whatever poison she may put inside, there can be other creative uses for it. Now, don’t start looking at me with slanted eyes and tsked at me. I’ve no idea what type of creative uses you guys have in mind but what I’m talking about here is using the thermos as a tool. Specifically, as a defense weapon should she run into any trouble with the lawless (Not as in Lucy Lawless a.k.a Xena). Alternatively, she can use it as an attack weapon. So, I won’t want to agitate her in anyway if I ever see her carrying something even remotely like the thermos in her bag.
P3 must have hated me as well, because after the dinner, he subjected us to the intolerable cruelty of the Ladykillers, a new film starring Tom Hanks. At least he (P3, not Tom Hanks) was nice enough to introduce us to a restaurant (no free advertisement for it here) with quite nice food, edible at least. Makes me think of the last meal before an execution. I have totally no idea why P3 wanted to watch that film. Only reasons I can think of is he’s smitten with Tom Hanks, or maybe the old lady in the film, or he’s too stressed out by projects and tests he lost his Sense of Good Choices momentarily. Well, I wish you speedy recovery P3. At least you still have Common Sense with you to agree it’s a bad show after watching it.
In order to save those with extra cash to spend, I’m going to spill out the content of the show right here. That way, your urge to watch that show will be quelled and more beneficial uses can be made with those extra cash, like donating to the needy i.e. me. However, I’ll do it in the next entry if not this entry will run too long and I’ll miss my beauty sleep. So check back again and I’ll give you my address for the donation at the same time.