I write this entry with great reluctance. If I hadn't been ordered to write this entry, I would still be indulging in one of my favourite activities i.e. slacking.
Yeah, that's the reason why I haven't been blogging in the past week. Not because I'm busy with work, or that I'm tired out from work. Rather, it's the act of sitting down in front of my computer, typing pages of gibberish to put up on my blog that turns me off. In fact, just the thought of it makes me want to slack already.
But alas, at least for today I've to continue for as I've mention, I've been ordered to blog.Who actually has the authority to order me to blog?
Well, that would be the da ge (big brother) of my band of brothers. Unlike the TV series of the same name, we guys don't carry weapons around shooting anything that moves. Instead, we're as harmless as cockroaches. When we get together, we'll at most make people, mostly girls, scream and cringe. Nobody will ask us for autographs. The braver ones will try to shoo up away with rolled up newspaper. Aside from that, we're not much of a social threat.
What we usually do is just sit around and reminiscence about old times like a group of centenarians. Like them, we too suffer from Alzheimer. Every few weeks, our chat topics go back to the same questions and answers brought up previously, forgetting that it'd already been covered. A sociologist studying us won’t have too much trouble compiling a book of Q & A right down to the exact pauses, coughs and farts.
Yesterday, in the first gathering involving da ge since he returned from Oz not a few days ago, he 'politely informed' me that he visits my blog daily. For the past week, he has been disappointed whenever he doesn't see any updates there. Obviously, he's using my blog as a form of Big Brother. Even though he didn't explicitly spelled it out, I can sense the implications if I don't blog soon.
The implications are not good I can tell you. I remembered once he told us he crushed a cockroach using his dumbbells. Having make references of us to cockroaches above, this recollection sends shivers down my feelers.
I guess I ought to be afraid of him. After all, I didn't give him any face last night by being absent for his welcome back dinner. However, that wasn't entirely my fault. My manager had insisted I returned to the island yesterday for the Aquabike Championship event.
That turned out to be five hours of work put in on a Saturday from five till ten. I don't really have any grouses with that, honestly speaking. Not when work involved staying out on the beach watching bikini babes (beach hunks for my female colleagues) and a sumptuous buffet dinner courtesy of the organiser.
Sorry da ge. Bikini babes and good, especially when free, food over you anytime.
One comment my da ge made when I met up with them after my work confounded me for a while. He pointed out that I've grown thin, especially my face. This totally contradicted with what a friend wrote in his blog. This friend stated that my belly has grown to, to quote, 'cosmic proportions'. Thin face and a belly that'll put all the patients in KK's maternity ward to shame? Guess that make sense now. Boy, I hate gravity.
By now, some of you may be wondering why da ge is called da ge. Well, among the band of brothers, he has got the most eye glaringly bright future in front of him. That's an asset to the rest of us. So I sincerely hope that none of you out there ruin it for any of us.
If there's any girl out there wanting to know my da ge, for a 'nominal' fee, I can help you make the introduction. For another 'nominal' fee, I can eliminate other competitions for you.
If there's any people with spare cash and don't mind someone calling him or her da ge or da jie, please contact me at 1800-SUCKERS.