Today, when I woke up for the second time of the day in the afternoon, I saw an ominous looking white letter on the keyboard of my computer.
With the State Crest and wordings 'On Government Service' printed across the top of it, I got the feeling that I'm being recalled back for the dreaded In-Camp Training.
Luckily, it turned out to be a false alarm.
The letter was from MCYS (formerly MCDS) informing me of my complimentary membership into the government's Sex Deprived Unit (SDU). Selected excerpts of the letter are as follow:
' ...SDU is a one-stop place for you to network and exchange ideas with over 26,000 other like-minded graduate...network may help in your professional advancement or simply widen your social circle.'
Sounds great right? Like a business networking organisation.
Well, not if we already know what SDU's purpose is. And it gives itself away later in the letter when it states:
' If you are already married...alert us immediately...ensure your particulars will not be transferred to SDU.'
I guess in the government's eyes, the married are not entitled to professional advancement. That's good news to people like me. My future is not as bleak as I thought so long I remain single. Pretty soon, I'll be the CEO of certain companies so you guys better suck up to me now.
Of course, I may be thinking a bit too straight. After all, the letter didn't specify what sorts of ideas, like-mindedness or even professions. For all we know, the certain companies I'll be CEO of may be 'private limiteds' based in Geylang.
So, question now is should I reject this membership? As with all kinds of memberships, come great discounts privileges. However, I'm probably the one on discount in this membership.
I believe a friend of mine, Rayner (name not changed to expose identity), will be very perplex when he receive SDU's membership. He took planet origin test I mentioned in my previous post and found out he's from the planet Ur-anus.
Can you imagine his self-introduction during SDU's activities? It'll probably go like this:' Hi, I'm Rayner and I'm from Ur-anus. I'm more than a little eccentric and love everything unusual and shocking. Anything unconventional excites me (winks).'
(Those are the 'qualities' of people from Ur-anus.)
By the end of the activity, his cheeks will be so swollen he'll have permanent winks on his face.
No wonder he's vehemently denying the result of the test.