At my age, with my kind of sedentary lifestyle, there are two rules when it comes to taking the yearly army fitness test, IPPT.
Rule number 1: Always train adequately before taking the test.
Rule number 2: Always making sure your body is not aching before taking the test.
I broke both rules and the result couldn't be more obvious.
I was thinking of getting my IPPT done and over with early, even though there is still five months before my window closes. So on Monday, I went for a run for the first time in ages and felt up to it at the end of it. Tuesday, I was aching all over and had to walk like a stiff. By Wednesday, I wasn't aching so much, so I booked my IPPT for Thursday, which was yesterday.
As usual, the IPPT started off with a briefing by the same Warrant Officer I see each time I go. And as usual, he doled out his oh-I-eat-more-salt-than-you-eat-rice-so-must-listen-to-lim-bei advices. Then he would attempt to crack jokes. Jokes that I've outgrown a long time ago, after I left full time national service. Those who don't laugh, he'll say we're too serious and pans out his lim bei advices again. Well, it's not we who are serious. It's his jokes that are not funny anymore!
Anyway, while queuing for my number tag, I tried to be within the uncles. At least I won't be as stress out compared to being assigned to a detail full of muscular fitness freaks who throbs their chest muscle every now and then as if suffering from spasms. Sadly, there weren't enough uncles to go around yesterday, but still I'd a well mixed group.
The first three stations went smoothly, scoring full points in each. Then came the killer -- chin-up.
I needed to do six to pass and I managed to squeeze six. However, the beastly instructor doing the counting counted as five.
'Chin not above the bar,' he said, referring to my sixth chin-up.
I retorted, 'But my chin touched the bar!'
'Chin not above the bar,' he repeated.
'Hey man, give me break. I'm an NSman. NSmen are expected to chin touch the bar, not above it!'
'Chin not above the bar,' came the response.
'Parallax error!' I countered, getting desperate.
'Chin not above the bar,' replied the unfeeling robot.
Basket banana! Young people nowadays just hold no respect for their elders! I may have the bigger paunch between the two of us, but I definitely don't have the bigger say. Tsk! Indignant,
I showed him half a peace sign with a wide grin.
I jest of course. I'm a non-confrontational guy. As such, the argument and half a peace sign didn't surfaced at all. I just took my failure with a shrug, noting the instructor's name and reminded myself to visit the temple with a paper doll and clogs over the weekend.
Thus for the first time in years, my IPPT ended at the static stations. What a waste. The day was so cloudy and breezy, with shades all around. I should have no problem with passing my 2.4km run.
So go run anyway, some may be thinking. Well, balls to the run. No point wasting my energy and I've got tons of VCDs waiting to be watched in any case. Hence, I pulled out of the test and went home.
As if to say I made the right decision, the sky started drizzling just before I reached the bus stop and turned into rain not long after. Ha! Don't you just love the rain sometimes?